Mar 7, 2014

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Building Resilience to Thrive and Succeed

January 21, 2014 by
blog-buildresilienceTaking charge of your future entails undertaking and assessing risk. It involves facing a myriad of challenges and setbacks while forging the road ahead towards your goals. We often stumble through challenges, and somehow we find a way to overcome turmoil. However once we reach our goals, we rarely take the time to reflect and remember the challenges that we faced. We need to be able to ask the tough questions, such as, what caused the setback or how did we react when it happened? Most importantly, how could we avoid a similar situation in the future?My Success Principles are designed to empower you and give you the tools you need to build strength and find your inherent greatness. Become Self-Aware Think of the trials in your past, and allow yourself to experience how you felt when confronted with negative events. What was your thinking pattern? What was your emotional reaction? Carefully observe your reactions – nonjudgmentally. What were the feelings and

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sensations you experienced during a period of high stress? Reflecting on your reactions and coping mechanisms will allow you to understand yourself better, so you can find helpful techniques that can literally change the way your brain works and reacts when faced with strife. Develop Self-Confidence When facing great challenges; we tend to focus on all of the negative feelings from previous experiences. We have a predisposition to remember what went wrong rather than the things that went well. Focusing on your failures affects your self-esteem, and a great way to dispel your negativity bias is to retrain your brain to recall the simple successes in life. Start a “success journal”, listing small and large victories as they happen, so you can revisit

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them when you feel stressed and overwhelmed. Create an affirmation and visualization for each goal that you have and practice it on a daily basis. This will recondition your subconscious to accept what’s possible, as if it has already happened, allowing you to see opportunities that you would otherwise ignore. Change Your Outlook and Cultivate Your Relationships Part of changing your paradigm is accepting the circumstances that cannot be changed, and coming to the realization that you can still be optimistic. Avoid seeing crises and stressful events as unbearable problems. Take daily steps — no matter how small — to move you closer towards your dreams. Be inspired and become an inspiration to others. Take the time, unfailingly, to engage in relaxing activities with family and friends. Focus on living by your highest standards so you can become a role model for others, while allowing others to inspire you. Take the time to understand your reactions against adversity. Learn to dissipate tension and negative feelings and let my Success Principles help you build strength and resilience, so you can withstand the worst storms ah   Jack Canfield, America’s #1 Success Coach, is founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® and a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at:

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Feb 12, 2014

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15 Things That Emotionally Strong People Don’...

I cam upon this article on Facebook. I usually like to come from a positive position and think more in terms of what are things that emotionally strong people

do to foster their strength but this was the article available. I found the pointers insightful so I would like to share them with you: There is a particular aspect of mental strength that is the deciding factor of whether or not you will have a good life. There are many levels to mental strength and all are needed to be successful and happy. The one particular area of mental strength that has the greatest impact is that of emotional strength. Emotions are, of course, a part of our psyche, yet nevertheless, can be distinguished from the remainder of mental qualities because they most directly influence our physical body. They affect the way our body functions and they drive every single one of our actions. Without emotion, we would have no reason to act, to do anything with ourselves. Emotions are our greatest motivators. Unfortunately, they can motivate us to act in any direction, even the wrong one. For this reason, emotional strength is essential. There are countless situations that emotionally strong people avoid and many actions they never take. Here are 15 of them:

1. They Don’t Beg For Attention

Needing attention is directly linked to emotion. Those who feel the need for recognition only find themselves experiencing feelings of worth when others make them feel needed; it’s as if these people are uncertain of their value, or if they have any ounce of self-worth. Feeling unsure of your worth is a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you don’t know you matter, then no one will ever believe you do.

2. They Don’t Allow Others To Bring Them Down

Emotional strength requires resilience. This world is filled with haters and trolls. There are jealous eyes lurking around every corner. The unfortunate truth is that often the people who hold us back the most are those closest to us. Getting rid of these people is often the best solution, but also the most difficult. If you can quietly remove these people from your life, that’s one fewer bridge burned and much less of an emotional trigger.

3. They Don’t Hold Grudges

If you’re holding a grudge, then you already care more about a situation than you should. If a person apologizes genuinely, forgive him or her. If this person doesn’t apologize, then don’t interact with him or her, but don’t hold grudges. People with whom you seek to alienate and hold grudges against take

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up too much of your mental energy, doing more harm than good.

4. They Never Stop Doing Their Own Thing

Emotionally strong individuals do what they do because they love doing it. They don’t plan on slowing down or stopping for anyone who deems their happiness inappropriate.

5. They Never Stop Believing In Themselves

Those who love themselves and understand themselves — those who aren’t afraid or proud to be themselves — never doubt themselves. You amount to your own self-worth, not a shilling more.

6. They Don’t Act Like Bitches Or Assh*les

People are mean. But we wonder, why? Being a jerk is only good as an intimidation factor, and if you’re trying to intimidate people, then you better be a negotiator by profession; if you’re intimidating just for the sake of it, you’re obviously overcompensating for a lack of confidence. Do you also drive a very large automobile, perhaps? I hear they make pills for that.

7. They Know Better Than To Let Just Anyone Into Their Lives

The emotionally strong are emotionally strong for a reason: They don’t expose themselves to people who break down their defenses and crush their morale. Most people in the world are lost and will be more than happy to take you along with them. Don’t let an awful acquaintance ruin your happiness.

8. They Aren’t Afraid To Love

If you’re afraid to love, you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. You obviously think you can’t be in a lasting relationship, but only in one that is doomed for disaster. You don’t want to get hurt again because getting hurt really sucks. There is no reason for you to get your heart broken again because you are awesome. If things don’t work out, it’s not you. It’s the two of you together. Unless, of course, you are an awful human being; in that case, it is you.

9. They Don’t Lie In Bed Dreading The Day Ahead Of Them

The best part of your day should be the moment you wake up and realize you’re still alive. We take life for granted too regularly.

10. They’re Not Afraid Of Slowing Down

Emotionally strong people aren’t in need of constant action and excitement. They don’t need to run around all day and keep moving in order to avoid their demons. They appreciate a slow moment because it brings them closer to what it feels like to do nothing but living, breathing. This is not to say that they don’t enjoy excitement in their lives, but they aren’t junkies and are more than happy to just go for a walk and smell the roses.

11. They Don’t Do Things They Don’t Want To Do

We all do things that we don’t love to do, but we should never do things that we don’t want to do. The emotionally strong understand that and almost always manage to figure out a way to focus on what they love, which allows them to figure out what they need to do, in order to do what they love. Although they may not love every second of it, they like doing what they are doing because it’s bringing them one step closer to what they would love to do.

12. They Have No Problem Saying “No”

If you can’t say “no,” you will get abused. You’ll be considered a pushover and no one will ever ask you for your opinion or take it seriously when you give it. Saying “no” reminds people that they don’t have control over you.

13. They Don’t “Forget” To Give Back

We’re not too busy or too poor to donate our money and/or time. We don’t forget, either. Some people just choose to ignore our responsibilities as human beings. The stronger you are emotionally, the more you come to appreciate others and life itself. You give life more worth and you begin to empathize with those who were dealt a bad hand.

14. They Don’t Feel The Need To Fit In

The stronger you are emotionally, the more independent you become. You don’t feel the need to fit in because you fit in where it matters: the world. People form smaller social groups that are often skewed and unhealthy. Wanting to fit in doesn’t say much more than “I’m afraid to be myself.”

15. They Don’t Forget That Happiness Is A Decision

Most importantly, the emotionally strong have learned to understand the power their brains have over both the mind and body. They understand that emotions are reactions, not reactions to direct physical causes, but to the way we perceive those causes. In other words, our emotions don’t reflect reality; rather, our emotions reflect the way we interpret reality. Understanding this gives us near-full control of our emotions and, therefore, our lives.

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Jan 7, 2014

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New Beginnings

It is January 7th, 2014. Happy New Year again! It is a time for new beginnings. It is an opportunity to regroup and refocus. It is not a time to put all the pressure of the world on your shoulders to succeed at a great challenge. It is a

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time to reflect and gather some inner strength, courage and direction towards a goal by taking the first step. Let’s consider the goal of weight loss. It may be a long standing issue for you. You may

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have tried to accomplish this goal many (or should I say millions) of times. But this January could be your new beginning. Next January could be the January in which you look back and say…”if I only knew then what I know now”. What you would know next January is that weight loss is an extremely do-able goal. It requires gaining a new perspective on food and fitness. It is getting down to basics and hard work. The basics are that food is fuel for your body and you need an appropriate amount and quality of fuel for your body to run at peak efficiency. Fitness is a healthy physical state of your body to be achieved by a regular exercise fitness plan comprised of activities that keep you moving that you enjoy! Exercise is intended to build stamina and flexibility and most of all be fun. Many people need motivational and informational support as they go through this weight loss process. Call me for an appointment. I can help! 516 509 7301

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Dec 24, 2013

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What to do during the Holidays??

We are smack dab in the middle of the holiday season. Most of us experience excitement over sharing company with family and friends. We experience some stress over the holiday gift exchanging that occurs. We are trying to please all involved but somewhere inside of us we know that is difficult in spite of our efforts. We are exposed to multiple food spreads of goodies on a regular basis at this time of year. What’s a girl (or guy) to do?

Believe it or not maintaining or even losing weight during the holiday season is do-able!! It takes strength, courage and hard work and a plan to be successful and achieving the health and fitness goal you

set during

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the holidays. You do not want to take too many steps backwards at this time. It would only make your weight loss/ health and fitness journey that much harder.

So dig down deep and find your resolve to have a healthy and fit holiday season.

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Keep Moving

Eat Sensibly

Live Mindfully

And most of all enjoy the holidays

Ho Ho Ho

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Dec 5, 2013

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Dream your dream

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion

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to reach for the stars to change the world.” Harriet Tubman

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Nov 21, 2013

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Celebrate the Great Fullness of Life

Celebrate the Great Fullness of Life

By Mike Robbins

With Thanksgiving upon us here in the United States, I’ve been thinking about the mixed feelings I often have about this great holiday. Of course, it can be a wonderful celebration of gratitude, appreciation, and family connection. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving also tends to be about feeling obligated to spend time with the people we’re “supposed” to, eating too much food and feeling guilty about it, and pretending to be grateful when we’re actually annoyed and stressed out.

What if we could make this Thanksgiving less stressful, more fun, and actually be able to enjoy ourselves, appreciate our family and friends (even the ones who drive us nuts), and focus on what we’re thankful for in a genuine way?

Regardless of the circumstances of our lives, there is always so much we can be thankful for. As I talked about in my recent TEDx talk on “The Power of Appreciation,” we almost always find what we look for in others and in life – why not choose to celebrate the great fullness of life?

Here are some important tips to make

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you truly enjoy and remember (in a good way):

1) Be you

Instead of trying to be who you think you “should” be with your family, friends, in-laws, or guests – just relax and be yourself! So often we put undue pressure on ourselves to be a certain way, impress people (even those we know well), or do or say the things we think others want us to. When we let go of trying to please everyone and we’re able to be true to ourselves, we create a genuine sense of freedom and peace. This also means that we think about what would be fun for us and our immediate family to do for Thanksgiving and communicate this to everyone else (in-laws, extended family, etc.), even if it may upset or disappoint some of the people involved.

2) Look for the good

Make a commitment to focus on the things you like and appreciate about your friends and family members, instead of obsessing about the things that annoy or upset you about them. We almost always find what we look for in others and in situations. When we let go of past resentments, we’re able to see people with new eyes. As the saying goes, “holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Whatever we choose to do on Thanksgiving and whomever we choose to spend our holiday with, if we make a conscious decision to enjoy ourselves and to look for the good stuff in an authentic way, we dramatically increase our chances of having a positive and pleasurable experience.

3) Make it fun and easy

Do whatever you can for yourself and those around you to make the planning, food preparation, clean up, and the whole Thanksgiving experience as easy, fun, and stress-free as possible. This means we keep it light, share the responsibilities, ask others for help, and do the things that we enjoy doing – instead of burdening ourselves and feeling like a victim about it all. Too often we spend and waste our time and energy being uptight, doing things we don’t truly want to do, feeling resentful towards others, and creating a lot of unnecessary stress and frustration. Thanksgiving can be lots of fun, if we’re willing to go with the flow and make it easy on ourselves and for others.

4) Express your appreciation for others

One of best things we can do for other people (on Thanksgiving or at any time) is to let them know what we appreciate about them in a genuine way. Acknowledging others is a true “win-win,” as we always get to

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keep what we give away to others when we appreciate them (i.e. the good feelings are shared by us and those we acknowledge). There are many ways we can appreciate people on Thanksgiving:

  • Write “I’m thankful for you” cards and give them out on Thanksgiving (or mail them beforehand)
  • Pick someone at the dinner table to acknowledge, and then ask them to “pay it forward” and appreciate someone else in the group – go around until everyone has been appreciated
  • Pull people aside on Thanksgiving (or give them a call) and let them know what you appreciate about them specifically and genuinely

5) Count your blessings

Remember that in the midst of all the commotion, stress, and activity of the holiday season, Thanksgiving really is a time for us to reflect on what we’re grateful for – in life, about others, and especially about ourselves. Take some time on Thanksgiving to focus on what you’re grateful for, the many blessings in your life, and the things you appreciate about yourself. A great way for us to remember and to celebrate the many blessings in our life,

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especially on Thanksgiving, is to take some time during our meal and allow each person at the table to talk about what they’re grateful for in a genuine, specific, and personal way.

This year let’s challenge ourselves to make Thanksgiving more than just something we get through or even simply a nice holiday; let’s have it be a time of reflection, connection, and a celebration of the great fullness of life.

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Nov 11, 2013

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Weight Loss- Fighting for your success

I work with a lot of people who are on a mission to get more healthy and fit. They come to me with a goal to lose weight. We quickly modify that goal together to the combined goal of health and fitness.

One of the most crucial aspects of this process is your mental toughness. When you are dealing with a long standing habit such as overeating and eating to comfort yourself….you need to dig down deep to be able to

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stay on the path to your success. Finding your inner courage and strength to maintain a mindset of eating less and moving more every day for the rest of your life is something worth fighting for. The end result of your effort will be a comfortable, attractive, healthy and fit body.

I did not say it would be easy but I will say that it is 100% doable. The path may not always be a straight path. It may be bumpy. It may even involve taking steps backwards only to go even further foward. With each successful baby step you must celebrate. Appreciate each milestone …no matter how small. Small milestones can add up a a huge health and fitness goal with weigh loss in no time.

You have got this…if you are ready to will yourself to take the action steps needed to move closer to your health, fitness and weight

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If you are ready to tackle this health goal and need motivational support…I can help. Call me and we can do it together.

GOOD LUCK (but luck is not really what you need; you need inner courage and strength). YOU CAN DO THIS!!

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